It Might Be You

Recovering Redemption, Matt ChandlerMuch of the time, we use a phrase in my circles that carries a lot of meaning with it.

It's not about you!
We typically use that to communicate that it is not about you, your agenda, your needs, your image, your wants, your, your, your... but rather - it is about God... and the purposes and will of God... It is a great tag line and a great idea.

On the other hand, sometimes we need to reverse this and make it very clear - Yes It is About You!

Here is one more idea from Recovering Redemption by Chandler and Snetzer (see page 107. They are talking about why relationships are so hard and our tendency to become expert in the flaws and problems of other people to the neglect of our own.

If you want to know who you really are, watch what happens when you interact over time with other people. Because they'll show you. See what's revealed about yourself when you come into close contact with them. Why do single men and women suddenly find out how selfish they are, six months after they've gotten married? Why do lazy, minimum-effort employees always seem to find work in places where they feel under-appreciated? This new group of people you've been hanging out with - why are they starting to treat you and say the same things about you as the old group of peole did? Why are you beginning to feel as peeved and upset toward them as toward everybody else who's thought those things?

Because may be not all the problem is your spouse. Maybe not all the problem is your employer. Maybe not everybody is conspiring together to come to the same conclusion about you.

Chandler suggests that inter-personal conflict is used by God to illumine things you need to know about yourself.

I think about the person who has tried their 6th church and can't find a "good one."

I think about the person who has been in three marriages and is looking for the right spouse!

I think about the person who has conflict with a variety of people at their place of work and wishes some decent people would come along.

Don't give in to the sinful tendency to project everything away from yourself and on to others. Listen, learn, be humble, pray for the necessary grace to make changes...


Brian K. Rice
Leadership ConneXtions International